Couples Counseling

Maintaining a loving relationship is hard work.

“I promise you will hurt one another.” That’s one of the first things I say to couples in my care.

When we are deeply invested in a relationship, there will be pain – because we care. Sometimes it will hurt – when our idealizations are disappointed or when our partner acts irresponsibly. In both cases, we must comfort ourselves and co-regulate with our partner.

The key is seeking guidance before the little problems fester and resentment lights the match of explosive conflict. When issues arise, we must minimize accusations, criticism, and “unfair” fighting so that we can work together and address conflict meaningfully. Even when we “know” this, it can feel impossible to do.

Learning concrete best approaches is where couples counseling can help.

Here’s how we start.

I will provide the third set of eyes that cares for each of you in your pain, serving as a bridge of empathy between your two emotional realities and striving for accountability to your shared values.

It is often necessary that we find those values together.

Often, people come into a relationship with unspoken – and wildly different – assumptions about what a relationship means.

I offer you a safe space to do the scary work of articulating those beliefs and finding common ground.

Breaking through is our goal.

“You can either be right or happy,” it is often said. The other side of that is when we focus on articulating our emotional reality and receiving accurate empathy for those emotions, we’re too busy being happy to give a shit who’s right.

Whether your problems are small hurts or major betrayals, we will move out of the courtroom of shame, blame, and fault toward the living room of accountability and connection.

Working with learnable and repeatable exercises of emotional communication, you will each learn to hold your and your partner’s pain, making conversations healing rather than harmful.

Reaching out.

Whether you feel misunderstood, disconnected, or betrayed, I am here to lower the temperature and walk with you. Call today for a free 20-minute consultation.